I came to Fairmont La Hacienda for a professional off-site. Not to unwind. Not to eat endangered levels of cured tuna. Not to lose all sense of time while staring at cork trees. This was a business trip. I packed button-downs and an agenda. I did not pack linen shorts. This was a mistake.
First Impressions: Understated, If You Ignore the Whale
The entrance to Fairmont La Hacienda is appropriately understated for a hotel catering to serious professionals like myself. It’s all clean lines, soft lighting, and neutral tones. There is a sculpture of a giant whale tail in the lobby, but I assume it’s there for symbolic reasons — resilience, agility, something in the ESG slide deck. The check-in was swift, polite, and included a welcome drink. I accepted it purely out of politeness and not because it was a lavender-infused sparkling lemonade that tasted like vacation.
Room: Too Spacious for One Spreadsheet
The room was large. In fact, it was difficult to remember I was here for work while standing barefoot on limestone flooring, sipping an espresso from a machine that looked like it had been designed by an architect on sabbatical. There was a sea-view terrace, which I naturally ignored to focus on my emails. I did step outside briefly, only to confirm that yes, the sea is still there. The bed was excessively comfortable. As in: I missed my 7 a.m. Teams call. Twice.
The shower had a view of the garden and possibly an existential metaphor embedded in the water pressure.
Food: Functional, Technically
Meals were served at the resort’s restaurants, Dalmar and El Faro, where I attempted to maintain a business-like demeanor while consuming what I can only describe as emotionally manipulative cuisine. Dalmar serves anchovies that could negotiate trade deals. There was a focaccia so persuasive I texted my nutritionist an apology in real-time. The sea bass had been cured for three days in seaweed, which felt excessive, until I tasted it. El Faro, meanwhile, offered an efficient lunch of Iberian bacon with peas and a side of disbelief. I ordered the club sandwich for “research purposes.” Twice. The breakfast buffet was impossible to navigate quickly, due to a distracting array of pastries, regional cheeses, and eggs so delicately poached they could be used in diplomatic relations.
Spa and Wellness: Corporate Recovery Facility
I was booked for a massage, presumably to recover from the stress of my 48-minute meeting. The spa includes hammams, a sauna, hydrotherapy, and a snow fountain, which I assume is a metaphor for innovation in hostile environments. I tried yoga. I am not a yoga person. I became a yoga person. The instructor spoke in calm tones and my hamstrings have never felt more emotionally supported. Products used in treatments include obscure yet clearly high-end brands. I did not recognize them. I now follow all of them on Instagram.
Golf: Strategic Networking Field
Colleagues insisted we play a round on the Links course. I agreed for team-building reasons. The course features dramatic views of the Rock of Gibraltar, distant Morocco, and my short game falling apart. I do not know much about golf, but I do know that the fairways are lush, the bunkers unforgiving, and that my boss now thinks I’m “surprisingly patient under pressure.”
Excursions: Official Off-Site Cultural Programming
We were taken on a guided outing, led by Rachid, the hotel’s director of experiences and, unofficially, a walking historical archive. We traveled via electric Moke (imagine a convertible designed by someone who once vacationed in Capri and never recovered) through the countryside to a castle town. We visited a convent, drank wine in a courtyard that may have been older than my entire company, and witnessed live flamenco inside what may have been a cave or possibly someone’s extremely passionate living room. There was cheese. I took notes. For culture.
Sustainability: Impressively Quantified Guilt Reduction
I was informed that Fairmont uses AI to monitor food waste and calculates the carbon footprint of dishes. Every aspect of the resort’s operation is tracked for sustainability, including water use, energy, and what I can only assume is your conscience. Despite these efforts, I somehow ate foie gras and felt zero guilt. This is the power of responsible sourcing and excellent lighting.
Conclusion: A Good Place to Work (On Yourself, Apparently)
Fairmont La Hacienda is absolutely ideal for business travelers. Just be prepared to return from your trip suspiciously well-rested, faintly sun-kissed, and possibly aware of the difference between Maresme peas and the inferior kind.
You will attend meetings. You will take calls. But you will also find yourself considering whether you’ve been doing it all wrong — the work-life balance thing, the whole living-on-purpose thing. Or maybe that’s just the linen robe talking.
